All things by design

Dear readers, The year 2020 has been a world wind.  So many things have happend . One thing that has come to the brink and had broken. So many lives of African Americans have been lost. The lives lost has sparked and eignited a fire that has always been burning. POC and allies alike are saying black lives matter. when that is said we are not saying that any other lives are any less than our own. Just that we matter and we will no longer be slient and take it in silence. If you don`t know I am African American. This is a movement that is a everyday thing of my life. I can not talk for every one when it to a life of African Americans. I can only speak to my own life.  I have spoke out but have not been as vocal as I could be. So far many of my friends and loveones have been supportive. Sadly, there have been a few in the life that I had hoped would be supportive of me but it was not to be. My whole life I have been diffrent. As I am in the middle and don`t quite fit in the by the  boo

 hello, I never forgot about this blog but somehow the app was no longer supported by phone. Time has past. like a good two years. I think at this point I may make all my post from now on private and it just become my personal space . Or I could make it a public diary of sorts. instead of YouTube videos just posts of me writing away. Maybe I'll go back to the old days of xanga and myspace where I just mostly posted poems. When I started this journey all those years ago I wanted so bad to be part of the creative community in the way of bloggers. I have tried YouTube and blogging. There are many post that have been started but not finished. there is one I feel I need to post and it will open a can of worms at most. As I don't promote my blogging it is not much of a stretch for me to believe no one reads my things. What was left but to start a podcast. I did so far so good. life came and snuck up on me or my Adhd came and said byeeeeeee. It is time for another year to close and I

 Hiya,  It has been awhile. I realize I have not posted on here in almost two years. I wrote some during 2020. I never completed some of my posts. I think I will because why not. At the same time I did not for my own safety . Well, I am no longer sure of what I will use this platform for. I may close it and just make it a private blog. Then it will just be me letting my thoughts be out of my head. The pandemic is still going. the world is mostly back to normal yet at the same time it's falling in out chaos. I have made some changes in my life. Like I started a new job. Which has been very interesting to say the least? Still wanting to go back to school but I don't know what for now. Life turns out is not that easy to plan. Well, more its realizing the path you want to take is not always the easiest one. Or the job you have been telling yourself you wanted is a lot more harder to get and you are not even sure you are cut out for it.  I have spent the past few years working to be

 This has been one hell of a year! Didn`t think it would end this way. My entire household has contracted covid and it's no joke. It has hit us all differently but I am thankful that we all are home together and not in the hospital. I have been blessed during this year I guess in the way that it was not a super bad one for me. I got to do something I had not had a chance to do. I also had come to some hard truths about my life. I gave up on school for the moment. I am working to be present in my accomplishments. I have three degrees to my name and while I am proud of that I am also finding myself to be lacking.  I work a retail job and am not even in a field of work that has anything to do with my form of study. 2020 has been leaving me asking myself why instead of is this the right path. I have spent much of 2020 in self-reflection and questioning each step I have taken that has brought me to this point. pretty sure it will be a whole new year and one more step close to another ye

 I told myself I would make my post to keep up with my thoughts during Covid but I have fallen behind. It`s still happening and the numbers keep growing and life is somewhat normal. Well, whatever normal is these days. I think we are quickly approaching another lockdown. In one way I am ready for it as I am worried but on the other hand, I am still trying to play catch up from the first one. I am trying to keep my outward thoughts positive. On the inside, I feel like I am drowning and I don't see a way out. I need a plan but it is finding out how far I am going to do and get it on paper. As for Covid the only thing I can do is do my best to make sure I am doing what I am supposed to be doing at work and my personal life.  But that is neither here nor there. I am going to commit myself to make more posts on this blog. I still feel this is just for me but who knows I could have readers that I don't know about. I am sure there are other bloggers that have too many blogs that are b

Dear readers, It seems like years but it has only been a few months. We all stood with high hopes for the year of 2020 now we are all ready for it to be over. Covid-19 is still running around like a mad man in the United States. My state’s cases are rising . I’m back at work but I’m still on edge. I heard a mask mandate was coming down the pipeline. To which I have no problems with! It has taken some getting used to but I’m used to wearing my mask when I leave. I tell myself when I want to complain if nurses can wear them for hours so can I. It takes a bit of time to retrain your breathing. Some days I’m good at it and others not so much. I have bought many fabric masks to wear so I can have a bit of fun. At work I don’t get to wear them which is fine. My job provides mask to wear so I’m grateful I do not have to supply my own. I’m amazed how many people don’t want to wear them. I get it but this is a global pandemic. You or I may be able to kick it and make it through but there ar